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Page 5 of 8
Roberto Rossi vs. John Cena
‘Counting down the minutes until the greatest spectacle in sports entertainment begins folks, Michael Cole back here ringside with my broadcast colleague JBL and John, we've seen talent in the pre-shows of previous years, what can we expect in the next hour or so?’ asks our play-by-play man as we settle at ringside.
‘Who knows Michael, and that’s the magic of WrestleMania, a great man once said ‘life’s like a box of chocolates, ya don't know whatcha gonna get’, well hell you can apply that right here tonight’ laughs Layfield as Nessun Dorma starts up, the classical Italian theme bringing some cheers from this massive crowd at Ford Field as proceedings get underway, Roberto Rossi having the honor of unofficially being the first wrestler to enter WrestleMania 23.
‘Roberto Rossi then folks, perhaps not given a good account of himself as he would've liked these past few months on RAW and SmackDown, he was destroyed by WWE Champion Randy Orton a few weeks ago on SmackDown and lost in a match to the man he'll be facing tonight in a house show over in Illinois a week ago, things might pick up with a win here tonight though John’
‘I'm sure I've seen this guy somewhere before Michael…..collecting stars and jumping on Chomps’ laughs JBL, ‘all he needs now is a red hat and a plunger and he'll be fine, hell, where’s Luigi and that green dinosaur he hangs around with?’
‘C’mon partner that’s a bit harsh don't ya thi-’
‘HELL NO MICHAEL, IF YA WANNA BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY YA DON'T COME OUT LOOKING LIKE A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER FROM 1989, I HEAR HE WANTED PEACH AS A VALET FOR GAWD’S SAKES’ spits JBL, perhaps in mock anger but Cole is in no rush to disagree, Layfield suggesting that perhaps his best chance of winning would be to don a blue cap and become invisible for a while as Nessun Dorma fades out, Rossi attired in red trunks and boots, a slight Mohican hairstyle apparent.
‘SO….YOU THINK YOU'RE UNTOUCHABLE?……..WORD LIFE!!! THIS IS BASIC THUGANOMICS….THIS IS BA-BAS-BASIC THUGANOMICS….WORD LIFE!!!! I'M UNTOUCHABLE BUT I'M FORCING YOU TA FEEL ME….WORD LIFE!!! THIS IS BA-BAS-BASIC THUGANOMICS…..WORD LIFE!!! I'M UNTOUCHABLE BUT I'M FORCING YOU TA FEEL ME’ comes the rap from the speakers, the crowd giving a very mixed reaction to Rossi’s opponent.
‘John Cena, one of the latest acquisitions by the WWE, he’s shown great potential from what we’ve seen so far John, whaddya think?’ asks Cole.
‘I think I’m stuck in a freakin’ time warp Michael, we got Vanilla Ice taking on Super Mario….this is 2007 right? This is the WWE?’ asks a comically puzzled JBL in reply, the fans and music quietening as Cena, out here tonight in back to front baseball cap, Chicago Bulls jersey with Jordan 23 emblazoned upon it, shorts and pumps, grabs a mic.
‘YO YO YO YO YO CUT THA MUSIC, CUT THA MUSIC’ starts Cena, his theme stopping almost instantaneously, the crowd booing as they get sight of his attire. ‘WHY THE HELL Y’ALL HATIN’? CENA’S HERE TA STAY…..I GUESS THA SAME COULDN’T BE SAID OF OL’ MIKEY J’ goes Cena, referencing his jersey and drawing massive boos. ‘DETROIT CITY…HOME OF THA FORD FIELD…..ROD WALLACE’S MOVE WAS NEARLY A YEAR AGO…Y’ALL STILL AINT HEALED’ continues Cena with a laugh, bringing even more boos. ‘AS FO’ TONIGHT…..IT’S THE GRANDEST STAGE……..BUT WE GOT THIS ITALIAN KID WORKIN’ ON MINIMUM WAGE…….THIS IS THA BIG ONE…..BUT CENA AIN’T ON THE MAIN SHOW………I GUESS IT’S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY…..HBK DOES BLOW’ states Cena, JBL suggesting he’s getting into his flow as more boos ring around the arena. ‘BUT THAS’ COOL WITH ME……I CAN TAKE IT……BEING IN DETROIT’S LIKING TASTING YO’ OWN……..’ Cena leaves the line hanging as the crowd threaten to explode, Cena sliding into the ring and giving the bullhorn salute, taking off his top and wisely deciding not to throw it to the crowd for fear of inciting a riot. Referee Jimmy Corderas insists Cena remove his chain from around his neck, Cena obliging and leaving it in one corner as he eyes up Rossi, the Italian looking slightly nervous it seems as the self-proclaimed Doctor of Thuganomics makes moves towards him, the bell ringing to get us underway. Cena gets in Rossi’s face straightaway, giving the Italian an earful of smack talk but it’s returned with a right hand, the fans giving a massive cheer to their adopted favorite, Cena clearly not going to get much love as he feels the impact of a second punch, the Italian starting with a bang as he Irish whips Cena to the ropes….and is knocked off his feet with a big time Shoulder Block, Cena the bigger man obviously not going to be dominated physically here as Rossi scrambles to his feet, the man from West Newbury meeting him with a hard clothesline, the Italian unwisely getting to his feet a second time and meets another crunching clothesline, JBL impressed by the power of Cena who whips Rossi into the corner and works away on the midsection with some ground and pound style blows before waving his hand in front of his face and telling Rossi ‘You can’t see me’, much to JBL’s amusement at ringside. Cena’s cockiness doesn’t work in his favour however, Rossi managing to reply with a right hand of his own that sends Cena reeling, as do the two rights that follow, the dropkick at the end of the sequence knocking him down as Rossi starts the feel it, the crowd do too, Rossi with a cover, one….tw-strong kickout by Cena surprises the Italian as he gets to feet, pulling Cena with him to the ropes and looking for a Suplex over the top to the outside it would seem, Rossi getting the lift up but Cena falls down the back onto the apron, trying to regain some footing perhaps but he has no time, Rossi spinning around and delivering another dropkick to Cena who falls off the apron and crashes on the outside, the crowd cheering at the move and then climbing to their feet as Rossi heads to the high-risk district of the top rope, the Italian sizing Cena up for a Cross Body perhaps. Jimmy Corderas tells Rossi ‘NO’ but he’s ignored, Rossi flying through the air…..and being greeted with nothing more than mat, Cena having the nous to roll out of harms way.
‘Good God John, Roberto Rossi just flew about 10 foot and only connected with those mats on the outside, and they don’t offer a great deal of protection either’ goes a concerned Cole.
‘You’re damn right Michael, he’s gonna be hurting like hell right about now, that feels basically like belly flopping onto concrete. It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than magic mushrooms to make that one better’ replies Layfield, perhaps not aware of the double meaning there as the crowd watch the replay, the impact heard around the ringside area as we return to live action, Cena having recovered and pulling Rossi back into the ring, going straight for the lateral press, one……two….th-no, a near fall, Cena sitting his opponent up and clubbing away at the chest which is red raw from the earlier impact, Rossi wincing with every shot as he’s roughly brought to his feet, Cena hooking an arm and lifting the Italian up high, stalling him in mid-air and allowing the blood to rush to the head whilst straining the rib and chest area, Rossi being held up for about 20 seconds it would seem as even the staunchest Cena haters in the crowd marvel at the strength of the man as he finally completes the move, big time impact on the canvas as Cena rolls into the cover, thinking it’ll be enough……but only gets two, Rossi still able to continue it would seem. Cena is far from done however, standing over the Italian and once again telling him that ‘You can’t see me’, waving a hand in front of his grounded opponent’s face and rebounding off the ropes back to the same position, brushing some imaginary dirt of his shoulder and looking for a fist drop on the prone Rossi…who promptly rolls out of the way, Cena dropping the knuckles onto the hard canvas instead as Rossi manages to land a dropkick to the head of his opponent, putting him down. Rossi heads up top once again, obviously not deterred by his pervious experience as he waits for Cena to rise, diving across the West Newbury native….and promptly getting caught, the crowd amazed as Cena simply lifts Rossi onto his shoulders before delivering the Flipping Fireman’s Slam and making the cover…..one….two…..three.
‘HERE IS YOUR WINNER……JAAAAHHHNNNN……CEEEENNNNAAAAAA’ comes the announcement from Chimel, the crowd still not taking a shine to Cena despite the impressive show of strength.
‘He calls that the F-U John, what a show of strength right there’ muses Cole.
‘You’re damn right Michael, I’ve never seen a guy catch another like that so easily, this kid Cena, hell he looks like a joke but we might be seeing the future of the WWE right here tonight’ goes Layfield as we leave ringside on the image of Cena shooting his brass knucks towards the camera, victorious here tonight in our opening match.
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